Cancer
by Molodoo
Summary: Prompted by a nony over on tumblr - The downward spiral the Smythe's face when one of them develops cancer, T because sad, CHARACTER DEATH


**A/N: **I just died emotionally while writing this. This was prompted to me over on tumblr by an anonymous. So, I hope you enjoy and feel as emotionally wrecked as I do after reading this. To add to your emotional wreckage, I'm providing a soundtrack for you: 'Cancer' - My Chemical Romance, 'Without You' - _Rent_ film cast, 'Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want' - The Smiths, 'Hallelujah' - Rufus Wainwright, 'It's Not Too Late' - Three Days Grace, 'Fix You' - Coldplay, 'Bring it on Home to Me' - Sam Cooke (this is the song Kurt sings to Sebastian), 'Stand By Me' - Ben E. King

**Warnings: **CHARACTER DEATH

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing

* * *

The doctor's had discovered his prostate cancer five years ago. By that point, he was already in IIB of the cancer. He'd been having problems urinating and could no longer bottom. What eventually brought them to the doctor was when he had found blood in his urine. Panicked, they'd immediately called his primary care physician, Doctor Jacobs. He scheduled him for an appointment that very day. They went in holding hands. "Mr. Smythe, I'm going to schedule you for a needle biopsy to check your PSA levels. Since your ability to urinate is seemingly compromised and you found blood, I want to check you for BPH." Dr. Jacobs finished. He wrote them a script and sent them off. The next day, they went for his needle biopsy. They were called into Dr. Jacobs' office two weeks later. Dr. Jacobs personally came out to bring them into his private office. "I-" He stopped and inhaled deeply through his nose before continuing. "I have terrible news." He said, clasping his hands on his desk. The couple exchanged looks before they turned back to face him.

"What is it?" Kurt asked, grasping Sebastian's hand in his own and squeezing it. He squeezed back. Dr. Jacobs took another audible breath.

"Mr. Smythe…you…you have prostate cancer."

"No!" Kurt gasped, squeezing Sebastian's hand. Sebastian bowed his head, letting his tears fall freely.

"I'm very sorry. We're going to have to do staging to determine where you are and what kind of treatment we should begin. I've taken the liberty of scheduling an appoint for you for his afternoon. I hope that's alright." Dr. Jacobs explained, handing the couple an appointment card. Kurt took it, clenching it tightly in his hand.

"What kind of tests will he have to go through?" Kurt asked. Sebastian was bent in half, head hanging between his knees as he stared blankly at the floor. Dr. Jacobs pursed his lips.

"He's been scheduled for an MRI, Pelvic lymphadenectomy, and a seminal vesicle biopsy. We will then have to determine his Gleason score." He paused as Sebastian sat up, using his free hand to wipe his tear-streaked face. He nodded at his doctor to continue. "The Gleason score will tell us how far along he is and help determine the best method or methods of treatment."

**SKSKSKSKSK**

It had been five years since they'd seen Dr. Jacobs. It was discovered that he'd been in stage IIB and his Gleason score had been a seven. Their new doctor, Dr. Harmon, told them that they had several options, including 'watchful waiting' or radical prostatectomy. Kurt and Sebastian talked it over, Kurt wanting Sebastian to get the radical prostatectomy, Sebastian wanting to watchfully wait. Ultimately, the decision was Sebastian's, and he chose to wait. They watched, but nothing got better. His urination became weaker and his prostate more sensitive. A few months later, they did another biopsy, discovering that the cancer had progressed and he was now in stage three. Kurt cried this time.

**SKSKSKSKSK**

Sebastian, Kurt and Dr. Harmon immediately scheduled the radical prostatectomy. Three weeks later, Sebastian was in the hospital. They prepped him for surgery and he was taken in. Several hours later, he was wheeled back into his room, thoroughly knocked out. Kurt was waiting patiently for him and eventually fell asleep. When Kurt awoke, he found Sebastian staring contentedly at him. He smiled back, walking over to the chair by his bedside. The held hands and both eventually fell back asleep, still holding hands.

**SKSKSKSKSK**

Unfortunately, the radical prostatectomy didn't work. The cancer had already begun to spread and a year later, Sebastian was a permanent resident in the hospital, with stage IV prostate cancer, his Gleason score now a solid ten. It had spread to organs close to his prostate and into his bones. He was weak and tired, so very tired. But every day, Kurt would be by his side, holding his hand and watching him sleep. He would only leave if the nurses kicked him out, which never really happened anymore. Kurt was now fifty six years old, Sebastian as well and it didn't really look like he would make it to fifty seven, so the nurses let Kurt stay the night most times. Kurt was grateful to them, but he truly wished they believed in his husband's strength more. Of course, why should they, when his husband was losing faith in himself? "You can get through this, Bas!" Kurt would say, several times a day. And Sebastian would smile weakly at him before closing his eyes to rest. Kurt didn't mind, because then, when Sebastian couldn't see, he would let his tears fall. He would never admit it to himself, but he, too, was starting to lose faith. He would never admit it to himself until the day Sebastian made him.

"Kurt, we both know I'm going to die," he rasped. Obviously Kurt knew that. He'd been planning the funeral since they'd found out Sebastian was in stage IV, but he would never agree with it.

"No, you're not. You're strong, _so_ strong, Sebastian, you can get through this. For you." He tried. Sebastian shook his head. Kurt tried again. "For us?" Sebastian shook his head. Kurt felt tears welling up. "For me?" Sebastian said nothing for a moment. When he did speak it was so quiet, Kurt didn't really hear him. "What?" He asked. Sebastian turned his head to face Kurt and Kurt almost didn't recognize his husband. Sebastian's face was sunken and sallow, his lips thin and chapped and pale. However, what shocked him most was the change in his eyes: his eyes, which had at one point been so vibrantly green and full of life, were sunken in and dull and full of d_efeat_. Kurt couldn't help but let the tears slide down his cheeks.

"Would you just fucking _let go of me_ already?" Sebastian repeated, his voice quiet and raspy. And in that moment, Kurt knew. He knew that Sebastian had been holding on for the past few years, not for his self, but for _him_. Sebastian was tired and Kurt knew it, but Sebastian had been holding on for Kurt. Kurt, who loved him but was being so _selfish_ and could finally see it. Kurt simply nodded his head as he stood up and leaned over Sebastian.

"I will," he said. He placed a kiss on his forehead and went to leave when Sebastian grabbed his sleeve.

"Stay?" Sebastian pleaded. Kurt smiled, turning back around and climbing into bed with Sebastian. Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist and tucked his head under his chin, resting on his chest. Kurt grinned and wrapped his arms around Sebastian, kissing his forehead and petting his head. "Sing for me." Sebastian whispered.

"I will."

_If you ever change your mind,_

_About leavin', leavin' me behind._

_Bring it to me._

_Bring your sweet lovin'._

_Bring it on home to me._

**SKSKSKSKSK**

Sebastian Adney Smythe died that night, wrapped up in the arms of his loving husband, who had finally gathered the courage to let him go. Before he'd fallen asleep, he'd asked his husband, "Will you always love me?" He felt Kurt smile into his hair as he pressed a gentle kiss to his head.

"I will," Kurt replied. "And will you always love me?" Kurt asked in return. Sebastian smiled lightly.

"I will."


End file.
